This was a tough week for me because it made me really focus on my own personal struggle in my relationships. I chose to pay attention to my feelings this week primarily because I live in the Parent Ego most of the time. I never realized how demanding I am until I took a week of evaluating my actions, words, and feelings. I don't like living in the Parent Ego. I am my mother!
When I really focused on what I was feeling about a situation I was amazed at how the two were so far apart. As an example I was critical of my husband being an enabler of his son and I realized it wasn't because he was truly enabling his son but because I was feeling defeated in my own role as a mother of a child that is dependent on me due to his disability. My expectation of what my role as a mother would be like looks completely different because of his disability and medical issues. No wonder I'm always exhausted and looking to be 'right' in every situation where there is conflict. I don't see my life in terms of benefit but more in terms of all responsibility and no joy. I'm learning to live the joy of each day. Good lesson this week.
With many thanks and gratitude,